Flowers Along the Stream of My Consciousness

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R & B Divas of LA Season 2 Reunion Part I

If you were to search through all the postings on this blog (before today obviously), you wouldn’t find a single post about a reality show. However, as the title of this blog shows, there’s a first time for everything.

Let me give you a little context for my comments. I am well over 30 years old and have spent many years working in Human Resources /Employee Relations (and yes, I have the MBA to back it up).

Co-worker disputes are nothing new. They happen everyday; but let me say this. Our policies have always been to suspend an employee who threatens to physically harm another employee. We can’t take the risk of liability; and before the suspended employee returns to work, the employee MUST agree to participate in Anger Management classes. We do it to protect our employees and to protect our company. I say all that to say that Chante Moore bringing security to the reunion was reasonable. You can debate whether it was necessary, but it was still reasonable. I work in corporate America. These ladies do not. Things are not as structured in their world. Before I move on to my next point let me say this. It seems that Lil Mo is easily riled up especially when cameras are rolling. Sure, she and Chante Moore may have been cordial at the Essence Music Festival, but the threats took place while taping the show, not away from the cameras. Reunion shows are notoriously volatile and given Lil Mo’s past behavior on camera, it’s entirely possible she could make threats again (regardless of what she’s wearing).

Mediating disagreements between employees is also nothing new. The key to effective mediation is to give all parties involved the opportunity to be heard. The devil is in the details but you can’t exorcise him until communication is flowing both ways to get at the details. Reality TV is never what it seems. Never. Some of the accusations aimed at Chante Moore may be valid, but even if that is what you believe, that doesn’t mean that she is not entitled to express fully her thoughts in the same way that others did. I don’t know if there was a single instance during which she was not interrupted mid-sentence. That’s not the way to work towards resolution. However, I understand that conflict is what pays the bills so it’s not in the interest of the producers to choose a host who would facilitate in an egalitarian way. One more point, conflict resolution focuses only on what has happened between the involved parties. Ms. James pointing out that there are other people who have had bad experiences with Chante Moore was irrelevant. Resolve your own conflict and no one else’s.

During the episode Chante Moore said that everything she says or does is scrutinized and amplified. She also said that when she says or does positive things it is perceived negatively. She is absolutely correct. It’s not because any of the other castmates are bad and wrong. It’s because of basic human psychology. When we form an opinion about a person - positive or negative - we begin to look for things that reinforce our belief. When you decide in your mind that someone is negative and unlikable it is true that those people will never win with you. You will interpret everything the person does through a filter of positive or negative. That’s psych 101. Do your research.

Lastly, it’s time for some tough love. All conflicts cannot be resolved. When this is the case, here is the difficult truth. No matter what line of work you are in, the only thing one co-worker owes to her other co-workers is that she show up and do her job. People are paid to do specific work, not to be liked or friendly or funny or anything else. I believe that Chante Moore did what she was paid to do and ultimately that’s all that really matters to any for-profit company.

Oops! One more thing. This is economics 101. People are motivated to maximize their best self interest. Translation: each cast member participates in the show because there is something in it for her. No one is doing the show without a reason. However, some people are able to maximize their self-interest better than others. I believe this is true for Chante Moore. I believe that she understands how to manage media to her best advantage and she should not be vilified for that. Translation: don’t hate the player; hate the game. Ask her to share her knowledge. She might say “yes.”

Please share your thoughts. Talk it over.

Filed under reality tv chante moore lil mo Claudette Ortiz Leelah James chrisette michele michel'le R & b divas la R & B divas r&b divas r&b divas la reunion reunion show tv one tv